


Parents

by Chaos_the_human



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Nervous Jim, Not What It Looks Like, Oops, Poor Jim, Quote "Oh hello mother. I've married, fake husbands, hhhhh, tell father.", who knew
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:42:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24263785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaos_the_human/pseuds/Chaos_the_human
Summary: When Jim played a prank on Dwight, he didn't expect to pretend to be his husband. He didn't want to be asked about his fake engagement to Dwight. He definitely didn't want to fall in love with Dwight, but who asked him?
Relationships: Jim Halpert/Dwight Schrute
Comments: 7
Kudos: 67





	Parents

Jim couldn't wait for Dwight to get back from his lunch break. He had paired his headset to Dwight's Phone and he fowarded Dwight's desk phone to his. It was supposed to be a good prank, another thing for him and Pam to laugh about later. How was Jim supposed to know that Dwight's mother would call? How was Jim supposed to know that Schrute tradition stated that if a man lied about being married, their family would disown him? So when Jim answered the phone and said,

"Oh, hello mother. I've married, tell father." He didn't know he would have to pretend to be Dwight's fake husband!

"You need to be my fake husband because Schrute tradition states if a man lies about being married then that man will be disowned. I may not show it to them but I love my parents."

"Wait, wait, wait. You want me to pretend to be your fake husband?" Dwight nodded

"Okay fine."

"I have one requirement Jim."

"What's that?" Dwight grabbed Jim's hand.

"Don't fall in love with me... honey."

_Shit._

Jim felt his heart skip a beat. He wished his hands would stop sweating, because Dwight was still holding onto them. Jim knew Dwight could tell when people were lying which made his hands get even sweatier.

"Jim after work on Friday, you **WILL** pretend to be my husband, you **WILL** listen to me and you **WILL** make me look good in front of my parents." Jim nodded dumbly. "Good." Dwight smiled and they went back to work.

* * *

The drive to Dwight's childhood home was... Strange. Dwight kept coaching him on his parents names and how his father, Dwight Schrute II, wasn't one for affection and may ask Jim to prove how much of a man he was by killing a deer. Jim had went to a shooting range with Dwight to practice and he wasn't half bad, but he still didn't want to kill a deer. Dwight also told Jim how his mom, Hedda, and how she would hardcore question him. When the pair finally arrived at Dwight's childhood home, Dwight's parents were waiting at the door.

"Oh, come here son." Mr. Schrute shouted Dwight pulled Jim by the arm towards his parents. "You're never to old to give your father a handshake."

_What the fuck?_

Mrs. Schrute pulled her son into a hug. She let go rather quickly. She stuck her hand out towards Jim.

"Well Dwight, what a catch you've got here." She said as she shook Jim's hand.

" **MOM** " Dwight whined.

"Nice firm handshake son." She said, letting go of Jim's hand.

"Yes he is quite the catch but a weak little thing like that could never farm well."

" **DAD, HE'S RIGHT THERE!** "

"You boys go inside. Your father and I will cook some dinner." 

Jim winced as Dwight grabbed his hand and dragged him inside. Jim was holding his red hand high up towards his chest.

"What's wrong?" Dwight asked with legitimate concern in his eyes- or maybe it was just the lighting.

"Your mom crushed my hand." Dwight laughed. 

"When we were kids we called her the hand crusher. Let's go upstairs I have lotion that might make it feel better." The pair went up the stairs and into Dwight's childhood bedroom. There were pictures of bears on the wall, a 'Battlestar Galactica' poster, and a picture of a riffle that had been cut out of a magazine. It was all so- Dwight.

"Found the lotion. Here let me rub it in for you." Dwight grabbed Jim's hand and Jim winced Dwight mumbled an apology. In five minutes it felt much better.

"Damn Dwight, this is the stuff of miracles. What the hell is this?" Dwight chuckled.

"It's made from ingredients in my mother's garden."

"Boys dinner's ready come on down!"

Dwight grabbed Jim's hand and dragged him downstairs.

"Do you need any help with dinner or-" Jim started to ask but was cut off by Dwight's father.

"No, but thank you. Let's eat. I cooked your favorite son duck!"

"Oh look honey there holding hands! They must be so in love!" she sighed. Dwight squeezed Jim's hand to signal him not to move it.  
"Yep, that's us so in love." Jim replied speedily.

"How precious. Now kiss."

"Mom, I don't think that's really nessa-"

" **I SAID KISS!** "

Jim wanted to spare Dwight the shame of being disowned so he leaned down and kissed him.

* * *

The car ride back was more weird than the car ride there.

"I'm sorry I kissed you Dwi-,"

"Don't be sorry it was nice..." Jim let out a breath of relief.

"I kinda sorta liked it to..." The car was quiet for a while before Dwight spoke again.

"Don't be mad but I lied." Jim sent Dwight a questioning look. "I wanted to go out with you but I didn't have the balls to just tell you so I let my parents think we were engaged that way you felt obliged to go out with me I'm so sorry Jim."

" Oh, _honey_ , how could I ever stay mad at you? You are my _husband_ after all." 


End file.
